If We're Talking Fruits Here, Why Wasn't Dating Called Pruning Instead?
So I'm back on the ridiculous online dating engine. I'm torn between this is *awesome* and this *sucks*. My experience varies between meeting perfectly lovely creatures with whom I enjoy their conversations, but am coupled with the dire fact that I would never touch them with a 10' pole, and perfectly gorgeous creatures that I keep telling to shut the hell up.
What gives?
Yesterday was a really interesting day online. I'd received emails from people that wanted nothing more than to tell me I had a lovely written profile on the site. No strings attached; I was "too young" for one of them. They just wanted to tell me. There was also this guy who was a complete dick. His dickness permeated his timbre of speech as well. Arrogant, plastic, kept asking me my vitals and what I did for living. The most interesting thing about this guy was the fantasy of fucking the sense *into* him. Apparently he was "looking for someone to 'keep up' with" him. So, in essence, he was looking for another asshole. I told him he wasn't lovely enough. That of all the marvellous questions to ask in all the world, he had to ask the most base, unimportant questions of all. Still, and this is how shallow I can be at times, I was talking to him only because he was hot. Boo for me.
Good news, though: I finally downloaded Instant Messenger. I *love* Instant Messenger. It's an adorable interface AND you can attach emoticons! I didn't attach one, but I received a few from my friend Trevor. They cracked me up. It even lets you know when you have mail on your hotmail account. It's awesome. I don't know why I waited so long. Maybe it's because I'm on a Mac and fucking Bill didn't authorize a Mac version that was beyond beta until fairly recently. Fucking Bill.
I still haven't met anyone worthwhile. I don't think I'm all that picky, really, in the grand scheme of things. I don't have a list of requirements a man needs to be in order for me to spend time with him. Yes, I want the elusive "connection", but I've been having a worthwhile time on the dating site because I'm finding ultimate humanity. This is something I've sought throughout my life. I want the soft underbelly of people. I want, even for a glimmer of a moment, to be able to see the real person. I think you can if you're paying attention.
Last night I made a new friend via IM. Oliver. Historically, if I didn't like the way a person looked I'd close the IM browser when they tried to make contact. Oliver was not physically my type. Apparently I was his. He'd been married for 7 years, now separated, with an 8 year old girl whom he shares custody. He and his ex-wife get along really well, but the reason they split up was because he didn't love her and he really didn't understand what vows were at the time. He was great; when he typed "vows" he did so with a capital V. I guess we all have to learn that lesson. I did. Vows should be capitalized. They are that important. Oliver confessed he got married just so he could have a big party. He never did answer me when I asked if it was a good one.
I met PJ yesterday as well. He's 53 years old, awesome, super fantastic human being, whom anyone would be lucky to be with. The only problem, and this is the only problem: he's 53. I have been unable to conceive of being close enough to a person, close meaning making out, who is creased and excessively bagged around the eyes and dramatically thinning in hairline. I just can't do it. It physically repulses me at this stage of my life. Back at work now I had made the unfortunate mistake of telling my fellow cohort that I thought his friend was cute. The friend in question was 22 years old. I was told I was "perving" on him. Fuck, I'm now a pervert. Well, whatever. At least I recognise that this is only a phase. I've gone through phases where I was severely attracted to men of 50, mostly because I enjoyed their outlook on life. It's pure acceptance of everything. Things bother them less. Sure they get upset over injustice, but mainly it's a blip and they can comfortably go back to peaceful times, fully accepting people, congenial and full of comraderie. They are a very special sect of men. Many of them have been relegated to the realm of "Daddy" for me.
This online potential dating thing is also good in the respect of weeding out potential losers. Sure there are great generalisations involved, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't do that. It's making me get closer to what I want and need. I don't care what a person looks like. I do care what a person smells like. I don't care what a person does for a living, but I do care if he's just doing it for the love of not the work, but of the money. I do want someone taller than me. I do want someone chivalrous. Someone kind. Someone considerate. I do want someone who can write beautifully. And mostly I want someone brave. I want someone who believes in me but also believes in himself. Someone not afraid of leaping off metaphoric cliffs. It's exhilerating.
I think I was in the car when I had this thought: We're all searching for The One. I said in my bold typed faced opening line, on the aforementioned dating site, that "I blame The Matrix for the conceptual proliferation of The One". And it's true. No truer than at this moment in time. We currently live in a society where there is so much choice. We are bombarded by images, products and propaganda spewing things are "New and Improved", "Now with 50% more _____", "Because you're worth it". There are 100's if not thousands of channels to choose from. Historically I've made not the greatest decisions on partners in crime. Some were great. Some were caustic. All were necessary. All of them were the right choices at the time. Were any of them what I thought was "The One"? Not sure. At the time it didn't matter. At the time it was the only decision to make. They were the Ones Right Now. You never can tell, I don't think, if you've got the One. Not right away, certainly. You can tell if you've got something. Something special or unique right away. If, of course, everyone's being honest. But in this era of more is better and The One does exist, people are so retiscent about being with anyone unless they are perfect. Now I'm not one about settling. You should never settle. But what I think is if two souls are compatible, where love and laughter prevail, where both find the other devastatingly beautiful, where trust and honour are key then, really, that's all there needs to be. Who the fuck cares about the rest? It's all changing anyway.
What gives?
Yesterday was a really interesting day online. I'd received emails from people that wanted nothing more than to tell me I had a lovely written profile on the site. No strings attached; I was "too young" for one of them. They just wanted to tell me. There was also this guy who was a complete dick. His dickness permeated his timbre of speech as well. Arrogant, plastic, kept asking me my vitals and what I did for living. The most interesting thing about this guy was the fantasy of fucking the sense *into* him. Apparently he was "looking for someone to 'keep up' with" him. So, in essence, he was looking for another asshole. I told him he wasn't lovely enough. That of all the marvellous questions to ask in all the world, he had to ask the most base, unimportant questions of all. Still, and this is how shallow I can be at times, I was talking to him only because he was hot. Boo for me.
Good news, though: I finally downloaded Instant Messenger. I *love* Instant Messenger. It's an adorable interface AND you can attach emoticons! I didn't attach one, but I received a few from my friend Trevor. They cracked me up. It even lets you know when you have mail on your hotmail account. It's awesome. I don't know why I waited so long. Maybe it's because I'm on a Mac and fucking Bill didn't authorize a Mac version that was beyond beta until fairly recently. Fucking Bill.
I still haven't met anyone worthwhile. I don't think I'm all that picky, really, in the grand scheme of things. I don't have a list of requirements a man needs to be in order for me to spend time with him. Yes, I want the elusive "connection", but I've been having a worthwhile time on the dating site because I'm finding ultimate humanity. This is something I've sought throughout my life. I want the soft underbelly of people. I want, even for a glimmer of a moment, to be able to see the real person. I think you can if you're paying attention.
Last night I made a new friend via IM. Oliver. Historically, if I didn't like the way a person looked I'd close the IM browser when they tried to make contact. Oliver was not physically my type. Apparently I was his. He'd been married for 7 years, now separated, with an 8 year old girl whom he shares custody. He and his ex-wife get along really well, but the reason they split up was because he didn't love her and he really didn't understand what vows were at the time. He was great; when he typed "vows" he did so with a capital V. I guess we all have to learn that lesson. I did. Vows should be capitalized. They are that important. Oliver confessed he got married just so he could have a big party. He never did answer me when I asked if it was a good one.
I met PJ yesterday as well. He's 53 years old, awesome, super fantastic human being, whom anyone would be lucky to be with. The only problem, and this is the only problem: he's 53. I have been unable to conceive of being close enough to a person, close meaning making out, who is creased and excessively bagged around the eyes and dramatically thinning in hairline. I just can't do it. It physically repulses me at this stage of my life. Back at work now I had made the unfortunate mistake of telling my fellow cohort that I thought his friend was cute. The friend in question was 22 years old. I was told I was "perving" on him. Fuck, I'm now a pervert. Well, whatever. At least I recognise that this is only a phase. I've gone through phases where I was severely attracted to men of 50, mostly because I enjoyed their outlook on life. It's pure acceptance of everything. Things bother them less. Sure they get upset over injustice, but mainly it's a blip and they can comfortably go back to peaceful times, fully accepting people, congenial and full of comraderie. They are a very special sect of men. Many of them have been relegated to the realm of "Daddy" for me.
This online potential dating thing is also good in the respect of weeding out potential losers. Sure there are great generalisations involved, but I wouldn't be me if I didn't do that. It's making me get closer to what I want and need. I don't care what a person looks like. I do care what a person smells like. I don't care what a person does for a living, but I do care if he's just doing it for the love of not the work, but of the money. I do want someone taller than me. I do want someone chivalrous. Someone kind. Someone considerate. I do want someone who can write beautifully. And mostly I want someone brave. I want someone who believes in me but also believes in himself. Someone not afraid of leaping off metaphoric cliffs. It's exhilerating.
I think I was in the car when I had this thought: We're all searching for The One. I said in my bold typed faced opening line, on the aforementioned dating site, that "I blame The Matrix for the conceptual proliferation of The One". And it's true. No truer than at this moment in time. We currently live in a society where there is so much choice. We are bombarded by images, products and propaganda spewing things are "New and Improved", "Now with 50% more _____", "Because you're worth it". There are 100's if not thousands of channels to choose from. Historically I've made not the greatest decisions on partners in crime. Some were great. Some were caustic. All were necessary. All of them were the right choices at the time. Were any of them what I thought was "The One"? Not sure. At the time it didn't matter. At the time it was the only decision to make. They were the Ones Right Now. You never can tell, I don't think, if you've got the One. Not right away, certainly. You can tell if you've got something. Something special or unique right away. If, of course, everyone's being honest. But in this era of more is better and The One does exist, people are so retiscent about being with anyone unless they are perfect. Now I'm not one about settling. You should never settle. But what I think is if two souls are compatible, where love and laughter prevail, where both find the other devastatingly beautiful, where trust and honour are key then, really, that's all there needs to be. Who the fuck cares about the rest? It's all changing anyway.
posted by Comrade Chicken at
1:32 p.m.
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