Live Forever? In My Mind They Do

Just finished watching John Dower's Live Forever: The Rise and Fall of Britpop, a really great documentary on the British pop/ rock phenomena in the 90's. The movie featured interviews with music critic John Savage, Pulp's Jarvis Cocker, Blur's Damon Albarn, Liam and Noel Gallagher and others in affiliated artistic roles. Very interesting take on the pop music scene in correlation to the political environment around the turning of the tides from Thatcher's conservative rule to the working class Tony Blair. The dissolution of ideals in both realms, musically and politically, was a very interesting watch. I'd really considered the 60's to be the last of the political revolution within a musical context especially in Britain.

I had no idea the huge battle between Blur and Oasis was not about who was the better band, who made the best music, it was a rich vs. the poor battle. Blur, though not by our standards, were considered the "haves" and Oasis the "have nots". Liam prattled on about working in construction and having a milk run while Damon did not have to. During Thatcher's rule she maintained a class structure inherently British. When Blair stepped in the whole point was to even it out. The underdog, just like in America, would come up on top. Instinctively I've always loved the underdog, but when the politicians and the record companies vie to manipulate us by marketing music this way, it just makes me feel used and gross. I just want to listen to the music and get a little moved. Maybe forget how insignificant I feel at one moment, or if I don't feel 100%.

I've loved musicians and, truthfully, male musicians because I've felt they've taken greater risks, on a whole. Not all the time, of course, or this wouldn't be a grand generalisation, of which I'm prone. I've loved Mogwai because they've honed their instruments so well that I liken the range of their play as levelling a tree to the ground with a chainsaw and the next moment being able to make origami tenderly, lovingly, every note the breath of life. *Music*.

Oasis has had catchy tunes. I've never really considered them fine musicians or anything remotely high brow. They've never felt they were either. I've felt the same about Blur. I've liked both bands, but neither had ever touched my soul. Well, maybe Oasis did a little bit. Neither band did what Pulp did for me. Or Radiohead for that matter.

I did develop a bit of a crush on Damon Albarn from Blur. I liked his actions and movements. There were things he didn't want to talk about, but he said them without saying anything at all. I'll always listen to what comes out of people's mouths, but I always compare it to their very unique physicalities that accompany the words. I tend to know when someone really doesn't know what he's talking about. I tend to know if a person is ashamed of an action he did in the past. I'll know if he was hurt by an incident, trying to cover it up or pretending it didn't mean anything. I'll just inherently know. It's in their eyes. In the sheepish ways they smile. It's in their fingers that they have to keep busy to take their minds away from a painful place. John Dower did a very good job at being able to decipher the truth from the fiction, even though everyone in the movie spoke what they thought was their own personal truth at that particular time. It doesn't matter whether it is the absolute truth, because that is completely subjective, what matters is what one thinks is the truth.

And I think that's it. I've been searching for truth my whole life. Truth and authenticity, both within myself and the people I surround myself with. After seeing this movie I ended up having the most respect for the ones that weren't so nice. I loved the nice ones, but there is something to be said about the ones that stick to their convictions. Sometimes they offend, often they make people gasp with horror, but sometimes they say something within all their contradictions and elevated narcissism that makes people reconsider something; makes them a little more human, a little more real and vulnerable. It's hard though. There are so many pulls and distractions and unhealthy options. That's the price that comes with fame, I guess. There's this mandate to keep pleasing, to keep churning out brilliance, to be more genius than the last time 'round and to keep reinventing oneself. In the end, often, they have no clue who they are, or worse, they have this completely distorted view of who they are. (Apparently Liam Gallagher thinks he's a reincarnation of John Lennon.)

I am so dazzled by a person who can just act and do and speak whatever is on his mind. I love that. I'm not sure whether it's simply because I operate in the same manner, but it's the only way I want to live and it's the only kind of person I'd like to have in my life.