Okay Everybody... Back To Work

After a glorious two months off I decided, or rather it was decided for me, to return back to work at my previous employ. Tonight was my second night back.

And...
it...
was...
GLORIOUS.

I am a waitress by trade. It's a profession I am neither proud nor ashamed. It's just something I do and something I'm extraordinarily good at doing. Technically I am no master. I am the first person to admit this. I'm horrible at table maintenance and lousy at picking up the next course from the kitchen. What I am good at is giving people a really good time. Apparently it's a gift. I'm starting to treat it that way.

I work at this neighbourhood notorious spot in the East End of Toronto. The vibe is cool and fun and my boss is second to none. He is generous, gracious, kind, fun, wise and wonderful. Everytime I see him it is an honour to be in his presence. I have never before worked for anyone I truly loved... until now.

I'd quit a couple of months back. It wasn't because I hated my job, quite the contrary, I loved my job a bit too much. The way I work is loud, brash, funny, exhuberant, boisterous and totally engaged. Also I like to think of myself as a team player, in the truest sense. I really feel when the restaurant's busy we are in battle mode. You have to get all your ducks in a row in your own section and, if time permits, see what's going on in other people's sections to see if they need help. I try to be helpful. A lot of people don't see my helpful as helpful, they see it as I think they are incapable. This thought process is very interesting to me.

My boss always welcomed and encouraged me because this was a new style formula that he wanted to see implemented, but had never born witness to before. When I came in and did what I did there was almost a sense of ,"Ah-ha! That's it! That's what I've been looking for." The problem was not everyone else performed the way I did. They made it very clear to me I was not welcomed there. So after much isolation, alienation and regret I left.

I guess it could have been viewed as they won, but in the end they really didn't. During the time I was away most of them quit for one reason or another. Ego and vanity, mostly. I came back because it was my time to go back to work. I went back to my old job because, if I didn't want to open my own place, I couldn't imagine working for someone better than my old boss.

One of the people I had the most problems with was Matt. When I first laid eyes on Matt, before I'd even started working there I thought, "Man, this kid's got it." He was smart, sassy, efficient, busy, on top of things, had a wicked personal style and played when he worked. (Very important to play when one works.) Matt was someone I looked most forward to working with in the beginning. Ironically he was the person I had the biggest problems with.

Matt never believed me. He took everything I said from praise to positive criticism as judgement. Simple things like asking if he needed help turned into a pissing match of, "No! I can take care of it myself. You obviously have no faith in me. You bitch." This of course was all subtext. He never told me any of these things while we worked together before, though his eyes flashed his personal truth often.

On my second night back, after my sabbatical, he told me his subtext and he came to realize, through careful consideration, that my strength in character was maybe too grande and often overwhelming for him. It reminded him of his mother. He used to chastise it, poke fun at it behind my back. Tonight, however, he too got grande and overwhelming in his own way and it was wonderful. He commented on his behaviour saying, "When I was doing it I thought of you and I realized it's allowing yourself to be in the moment and getting caught up in that moment." He also said he was sorry about the past and that he finally realized that the criticisms I had of him were completely valid to the point of repressing them in himself.

I had effectively called him on every single bit of fluff and deception he created. That was a hard pill to swallow. He also finally realized that I was just being kind and friendly all along. I really didn't want his head on a stick, presented to the jury for final rites, for him to get his ass fired. I just wanted us to work and work well together, have a wonderful time while doing it and give the people what they came for -- a good time... for Christ's sake!

So the truth won out. Hurray! Just at the perfect time... when I thought all hope was lost.