Third Quarter Prospectus

Holy... shit!

So I'm minding my own business, actually just finished business and the business of drinking for the evening. I had to pound that one extra Jäger just to cope with yet another chef with a blimp sized ego. What is that? You make food... that's *okay*, at best. Get over yourselves.

[ False sense of entitlement ]

So I get home around, I don't know, 3:00am (?) and I check my Lava account. It's habit.

I don't respond to smiley bits anymore. Sometimes I respond to IM's, but only if his initial contact goes beyond "hi". I always respond to emails, though. I figure if someone's spent the 6 credits and has created something thoughtful to say, it would be rude not to respond.

So I get this email. Subject line is :)

He sent his hidden pictures right away, which I never launch until I read the profile first.

Here's his profile:
I suppose people in bars just seem too busy getting drunk to be an option anymore. This is the alternative and it's almost like shopping? Well, here's a bit about me...I live in Toronto I'd like meet someone here and see where it goes. Chemistry is important, but leave your bunsen burner at home. That is to say, it really doesn't matter to me what kind of job you have or car you drive. I think Shania has a song about that.

Lets see...um...for fun I like movies,...Uh?..cooking...does getting drunk count?..er?..oh! I know! Occasionally foraging for nuts down by the brook or falling asleep in a leafy glade! Okay that's a lie, I don't think I have ever foraged for a nut in my life. I get them from the grocery store like everyone else. I also love music, if you play an instrument thats a big bonus for me. I suppose if you really enjoy yourself no matter what you're doing, then we might get along. I almost forgot, bargains and pirates are amoungst my favaorite things. Please don't be a pirate though, I ususally don't go for girls with eye patches. Umm, what else...I have traveled more than some but less than others. And finally, my new favorite book is "We", written by some cheery Russian guy. It's a dystopian novel which supposedly insipred Orwell's 1984. I know, I know, but it was either that or "Bunnicula".

If this at all sounds interesting, you know what to do.

Okay, so this is interesting. Good sense of humour. The only danger is the Shania reference. But he makes up for it in the "We" Orwellian predecessor book. And Bunnicula, in truth.

So I launch the pictures.

Holy... shit!

He's fucking G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!

Here's his letter:
I am still smiling to myself after reading your profile. I don't know if I would use the word "delicious" to describe how I smell nor am I totally comfortable with asking my roommate how I smell in order to find out. I am sending over some pictures, if you like what you see, then check out my profile and maybe we can chat sometime.

by the way, I have great hair, but that's a whole other email ;)

P

So then I write back:
Hello P... if that's your *real* hair, I mean name!

Okay, confession: I read profiles before I launch pictures. I'm more interested in brains than I am in the rest of the stuff that more than likely fades, or we get used to. I write back to everyone who writes a letter. So, here I am writing.

Okay, real confession: You are singularly the best looking person crossing my Lava path... but we won't talk about your hair... if it is all yours.... And regarding your smell: Hey, you could smell like a bag of Doritos and you'd probably wear the scent well, too. Rat bastard!

Thank you for sending me bits of stuff and thinking I'm swell. I've been accused of "awesome" often... apparently. (Not that I'm selling myself)

... if I like what I see! That's funny. What am I blind?!

Best,

C
P.S. Oh, I guess you want to see mine (pictures). Warning: You have WAY better hair. (If I didn't like talking about it I'd now be spirally into a massive bout of self-flaggelation and excessive blaming of poor genetic coding on my parents. Thanks Mom! Thanks Dad!)

I've been thinking about how essential it is to have prospects. Whatever that means to the individual. They could be creative endeavours, romantic, friends. I think it's really necessarily to have someone or something to think about, who's maybe thinking about you or something you can't wait to get back to. It kind of gives me more reasons to get my cat off my head and get the hell out of bed.