aNd NOw THis fRoM tHe aNNaLs oF bRowSiNg

I was reading Death's blog and began browsing when I came upon a young lady from Maryland, USA. Nineteen years of age. Loves her boyfriend, I suppose, as she wrote this:

"I kNeW YoU WhEn I SaW YoU, I LoVe YoU aNd oNLy yOu. YoU MaDe Me FeeL ThAt I aM SpEcIaL. YoU GaVe me LoVe tHat I NeVer FeLt BeForE. YoUr LoVes MeAns a LoT for ME, EveN ThOugh ThAt U were FaR aWaY frOm me, I kNeW ThAt U wiLL alWaYs Be MINE..."

Under the Favorite Music category, she wrote:

"FuCK it (I doN't WaNt U bacK)"

Who the *fuck* is tainting the water supply? That's what I want to know.

People of Maryland: Demand the immediate return of the riotous, hellion, obnoxious, irreverent, rebellous brains that were obviously stolen from your offspring.

The fruit of your loins, citizens!

I implore you!